We all know that making the New Year Resolution is a cliche that doesn’t usually last more than a week or two. However, perhaps the best attempt at a resolution would be to repair damaged family bonds rather than trying to lose weight or cut back binge watching TV. If time spent with family didn’t pan out too well during Thanksgiving or Christmas (if these togetherness events occurred at all) there is the opportunity to try and make it right again.
When thinking about fragile family relationships I think that there are too many movies which focus on the negative, dysfunctional aspects and not enough on the positive, uplifting values that should get more attention and celebration. It seems to be the smaller, intimate films such as The Meddler which handle this subject matter best. This intimacy has proven to be ideal for second-time director Lorene Scafaria who has created a loving, memorable portrait of a mother that any daughter could be proud of.
Stories like The Meddler serve as a reminder that grown children sometimes need to have a better understanding of and empathy for parents who find it difficult to adjust with being “empty-nesters.” In this case Marnie (Susan Sarandon) portrays a lonely widow having difficulty adapting to the loss of her husband. She is also at cross-purposes with her daughter Lori (Rose Byrne) who is going through emotional turmoil of her own, trying to deal with the loss of her father and coping with an unfulfilling relationship.
Marnie becomes too smothering, not fully realizing the importance of giving an adult daughter the space she needs to deal with certain unpleasant life issues on her own, as a mature woman. Adjusting to each other’s personalities proves to be challenging – as the exercise of balance and mutual respect for boundaries between them needs to be worked out. The Meddler handles these concerns admirably, creating a narrative of family strength and unit, not just one of differences and weaknesses.
With Marnie, Scafaria has also excelled as a writer by creating a well-rounded character who is able to emerge from widowhood, learn to live independently and make friends on her own, providing assistance to others who need her more at certain times than her daughter does. Once again, it cannot be overstated that one of the best points about The Meddler is the need within family relationships to respect boundaries and privacy. When those things are adhered to, each person is able to grow and make certain life improvements on their own. This is especially true when it comes to dating and romance.
Finding and cultivating other people and activities go a long way to avoid becoming a resented busybody within your own family. That is definitely an important takeaway from this film. Various reviews of The Meddler have noted how Scafaria drew so well from experiences with her own mother to create this film as a Valentine to all those mothers who deserve recognition and appreciation. Susan Sarandon has been much praised for her performance as Marnie, adding another accolade to an exceptional career that has spanned over fifty years.
Some of her other outstanding performances include: The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), The Witches Of Eastwick (1987), Bull Durham (1988), Thelma & Louise (1991), Dead Man Walking (1995), Stepmom (1998), Enchanted (2007), Arbitrage (2012), Feud: Bette & Joan (2017).
